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Discovering Directions

In several conversations lately, the metaphor of a compass has come up. The compass illustrates our trajectory, our path, and directions. It also helps us to make choices when we are feeling lost. The book, The Riddle of the Compass, is not a metaphorical book. It is a book of discovery though.

Amir D. Aczel gives us a quick history of an invention that opened up the world. It is interesting that there is a lot of mystery around the invention of such an important tool. There is no record of who invented it or when it was first used in travels.

…in the center of Amalfi, a town situated by a small harbor. Above an archway, I saw a bronze plaque with an inscription in Italian. Translated, it read:

All of Italy, and Amalfi, must give credit to the great invention of the magnetic compass, without which America and other unexplored places would not have been opened to civilization. Amalfi commemorates this pure Italian glory with special honors to its immortal son, Flavio Gioia, the fortunate inventor of the magnetic compass.–1302-1902

…In Amalfi, Flavio Gioia was at once everywhere and nowhere to be found. I was determined to find out more about the elusive inventor of the compass, but where?…

…I walked the narrow streets of the hidden part of Amalfi, climbed a set of stairs, and turned around an architecturally undistinguished building to enter the center. “Oh yes, we do have some material on Flavio Gioia,” said the archivist. “But, you know, it isn’t at all clear that the man ever existed.” (pg 5)


It is fun to think that throughout history we have been having trouble figuring out where we are going and where we are coming from–metaphorically or otherwise.

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Four Agreements on Three Questions

Don José Ruiz of The Four Agreements fame has written a newer book to create clarity on you as a powerful, humble human, The Three Questions. I loved the story that illustrated the his points. They say that stories help us remember and that is true of the story to remember the three questions.

Simple stories invite us to reflect on our own lives. One way or another, they represent everyone’s story. If a story is good, it has the power to inspire questions and encourage us to look for answers. If a story is very good, it can get under our skin and dare to see the truth. It can open new doors of perception. These stories leave us a choice: to be challenged by the truth or to close the door and continue walking a familiar path. (pg 7)

The three questions are

Who Am I?
What is real?
What is love?

Like The Four Agreements, Ruiz is able to speak to simple rules to help us live as humans better. As a question “who am I?” is probably one that everyone asks at very points in their lives. As I am asking know.

As we move from one stage of live to another, as my children become their own persons, our answers evolve. This book is one that you can pick up at any time when you need clarity because not only do we ask “who am I,” we ask “what is real” and “what is love.” If we, each, to ask these simple three questions, we can change the world one person at a time.

Things are the way they are in the world not because they are right or wrong. Naturally, there are things we can all do better for the sake of our personal happiness. We can free ourselves of our own tyrannies and give ourselves the sense of safety we’ve been longing for. Because we are free doesn’t mean other “countries” will be free. It doesn’t mean that other leaders will be aware or responsible. The choice for transformation belongs to every individual. We can guide ourselves toward personal independence, but should not coerce anyone else to follow us. Our journey back to authenticity is ours alone and mustn’t be used as an excuse to pressure family members or dear friends.

At any time, we can walk up and see the totality of what we are. We can see life as it is and accept everything we see. We can show how truth walks and talks in the world without attempting to govern others. We can offer our presence–not our rules–to demonstrate the best of what a human can be. (pg 196)

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What Would You Do If You Knew?

Often reading the news these days, we are asked to make moral judgments on the story: when is forgiveness possible–is there a time limit on injustice; is truth a matter of perception; when are we required to act when watching/reading about cruelties? Reading The Dinner by Herman Koch, these questions are in your face.

This is one of those books that could sit on your self for a long time before you have the will to read it. One of the difficulties I found with getting into the book was the fact that the narrator is mentally unstable and we are listening to him talk to himself. Like most of the reviews on Goodreads, I can’t decide if I like the book. I do like the questions it raised.

It becomes a parenting book to me. How far would you go to defend your child? Psychotic parents, not withstanding, looking at the event on which the dinner hinges–a crime by Michel & Rick, Koch asks us whether we agree with the decisions of the parents.


The dilemma I was faced with was one every parent faces sooner or later: you want to defend your child, of course; you stand up for your child, but you mustn’t do it all too vehemently, and above all not too eloquently – you mustn’t drive anyone into a corner. The educators, the teachers, will let you have your say, but afterwards, they’ll take revenge on your child. You may come up with better arguments – it’s not too hard to come up with better arguments than the educators, the teachers – but in the end, your child to going to pay for it. Their frustration at being shown up is something they’ll take out on the student. (The Dinner by Herman Koch)

When we define ourselves as a moral person, is there a line that we will not cross? Without reading into the religious dogma, I think, the 10 commandments are, at least, a good place to start. And, I would hope that I would have the moral fortitude to expect anyone close to me to take responsibility for their actions and pay restitution as appropriate.

Other layers in this book deal with privilege classes, mental illness and sibling rivalry. The opportunity that a novel such as this gives us is the chance to think about and discuss our perspectives on society and whether we are the ones to initiate a change.

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More Tools For Improvement

As a coach, I have shelves full of self-help, personal development, and life-affirming inspirational books. They usually come from recommendations, curiosity, or the need to find an answer–or another answer. The Tools by Phil Stutz & Barry Michels came from all of those incentives. Brian Johnson of Optimize.me often extols the value of Stutz’s Tools, and I am often looking for an exercise that might help my clients.

This book provides simple and profound tools to inspire us to have a great day, every day. There was one tool that was really a knock on the side of the head reminding me that I probably have most of the answers already. I need to practice them.

The tool is called Jeopardy. The chapter on this tools starts with a persuasive argument:

This book puts a special power in your hands–the power to change your life. There’s only one thing you need to do–use the tools. As a reward for doing this, you’ll discover a better and newer version of yourself. Who doesn’t want that?

I certainly assumed my patients did. The tools I gave them worked as promised; they became more confident and creative, more expressive and courageous. The results were so good, I was completely shocked by what happened next: almost every patient stopped using them. I was stupefied. I’d shown my patients the path to a new life and, for no good reason, they’d stepped off it–even the most enthusiastic ones quit.

pg 181, The Tools, Phil Stutz & Barry Michels

Convicted. I have shelves full of similar books. They all promise a better life and all we need to do is use the information that is inside.

This is one of the few books, of its genre, that I am determined not to collect dust. To help me practice using their tools, I have installed a habit. When writing my daily plan in the morning, I add at least one of the tools to my to-do list (grateful flow and active love are easy ones to incorporate). Now, in order to complete my day, I need to check it off as done or I need to move it to the next day where I am reminded to do it. And, I don’t let two days go by when I have not practiced using the tool.

These small practices have brought some extra sunshine into my world. And I will have to see what other tools on my shelf that can fuel my growth.